Mental Health Awareness Month: Check In With Your Loved Ones
Written by Jennifer Early
How many times have you spoken to a friend or family member about their mental health? Checked in with them because of a dramatic change in life circumstances or behaviors? Sometimes it’s easier, yet comfortable not to ask.
It was Mother’s Day when I received a frantic message that my brother had committed suicide in our family home. I was not prepared for a message of this magnitude as my family was still grieving the loss of my mother to multiple sclerosis. As I rushed home to a scene of law enforcement, an ambulance truck and other family members I was quickly given an update that he had not pulled the trigger. While my brother was still alive, it was my wake up call that he was not okay. In fact he was experiencing a mental health crisis.
At that moment in time all I could think to myself was: “how could I not see the signs?” He was in the midst of a nasty divorce, the passing of a parent, and a job loss. They were there but it was comfortable to not notice. Mental health and illness is not an easy conversation to have. To unpack it means to open a door of trauma and wounds that we often have tucked and locked away to never be touched again. But however hard, the conversations are needed. Normalizing conversations about mental health and illness removes the stigma and shame of not being okay and in need of help.
There are many misconceptions about suicide. In fact, one misconception about suicide is that openly talking about it could give someone the idea of carrying out the act. In reality, it is quite the opposite and further helps remove the stigma of shame. It opens a door of communication that encourages those that we love to talk about their feelings and what they may be experiencing. It opens the door to help and outside support.
Being knowledgable of the signs and common myths of suicide is crucial in understanding how you can be an advocate for your loved ones and others. For instance, it is easy to believe that it is normal for teens to be moody or experience stress. The idea of the teenage experience being encompassed as a series of mood swings and growing pains is a belief that often curbs the gravity of depression as a serious health disorder. There are multiple factors that can cause depression like grief, school stress, abuse, family issues, anxiety and feeling like you don’t belong. And as depression can be linked to high levels of stress and anxiety, in very serious cases it can lead to suicide. So what are your first steps?
It can be a simple ask, acknowledge that you are noticing a difference or signs of depression and even suicide. Let that person know that you care about them and their well being and are concerned. Tell your loved one that there are supports available like therapy and counseling that can provide guidance and help so that the healing process can begin.
It is never easy to acknowledge that you are not okay but it is the first step. Whether it is developing a self-care routine to reset after a hard work week, or finding a therapist that can help you in navigating past trauma or a difficult situation, normalizing mental health and wellness is the first step in the right direction. May is mental health awareness month and as we enter into this month I challenge you to check in with yourself and ask: How am I really?
